When I’m up this late I replay the entire day in my head. Somehow the day turns into the past week and the past week turns into last year and I’m left upset. I get upset for many reasons really. Regret, nostalgia, heartbreak, deaths- you know all of that serious stuff I can’t change. The stuff that’s lost in the labyrinth that is my mind.
I think too much. And there’s always so much on my mind that it jumbles together and really brings me down. And for some reason everyone expects me to be happy. I am appreciative. I’m blessed. I just get so sick of feeling like my problems aren’t real problems just because people are starving and our country is in debt and dogs are being abused. I get it. I have working limbs and food and my dog probably eats better than some people but that doesn’t mean I’m okay or happy. It also doesn’t mean I don’t hurt for those people who are less fortunate than me. But I can’t control my mind or how much I think.. I can’t change who I am. I just think it’s sad that we can’t express how we feel without someone lashing back at us with a “bigger” problem. We all have problems and no one’s is bigger than the next in our own minds. I don’t need anyone to make me feel like shit. I already do.